Fearing success and/or dependence

New things, situations, or experiences are exciting for me. I might be a little nervous at first but I hardly ever have fear.

Most people seem to fear new things because of the possibility of failure.

I don’t like doing the same thing consistently for a long time. I start to get anxious and begin searching for the next thing.

I now realize that I am okay, maybe even like failing so that I can try something new.

I commit to things such as friendships early on because I unconsciously tell myself that something will happen and this will only last a couple of months to a year if I am lucky. After a couple of months, I unconsciously do/find something that will. result in loosing that friend or group of friends.

I only realized this a couple of days ago.

I am not really sure if success is what I fear but I know that I do not fear failure.

I might fear dependence. Dependence on anyone else other than God and myself.

Not sure where to go from here other than to try my best not get anxious and ruin the friendships, community, or my education.

Anyone else fear success or dependence?